Dark Days

When I decided to start this series, my intention was to document my efforts to move toward happiness in my perimenopausal-almost empty nest- who even am I- era.

I had no idea that I would be trying to go through and figure all of that out while simultaneously witnessing the crumbling of the United States government and the trampling of our Constitution.

It’s a scary time to be a woman in this country. Scarier than usual. It’s a scary time to be anything other than a heterosexual white dude, really.

I’d like to say I’m not afraid, but I’d be lying. But more than fear, I feel fucking furious. Outraged by the shit that’s going on and what is being allowed to happen.

Maybe you didn’t come here for politics, but I have news for you- who I am IS political. My rights as a woman, the rights I have over my own body being called into question, make ME political.

Every attempt I have made over the past few weeks to be happy have been nothing more than a distraction from the overarching sense of doom that every sane person I know feels.

Don’t let anyone tell you this is fine. Congress being locked out of government buildings that are manned by armed guards belonging to Elon Musk is not FINE. Dismantling the US government agencies however Musk and Trump feel like it is not fine. Lying to the American people is not fine. Freezing funds already allocated by Congress is not fine. Removing women in STEM from NASA and the military is not fine. Deciding to remove all information regarding LQBTQA from EVERYTHING is not fine. Cancelling DEI is not fine. Shutting down the Department of Education is not fine.

Being a bloated, lying, rich, heartless piece of actual shit is not fine. It will not stand. And we will not forget or let it go. Donald Trump and Elon Musk, JD Vance, and all the members of his junk drawer cabinet will never know a moment of peace again in this lifetime. This stain will follow them to their deaths. And I am not sorry for that.

So, I will continue to look for happiness as I move ahead into my 50th year on earth. But that happiness is going to look a lot different than I thought it would. It’s going to look a lot like spiteful glee. And I am okay with that.